Forgiven
by 8belles
Summary: Set before infinity Wars. Bucky knows to reclaim Steve's soul he needs to rejoin the Avengers and patch it up with Tony Stark. Just how far is he willing to go to heal those wounds? Can anyone be forgiven?
1. Chapter 1

Forgiven

"How did it happen?" a heavy pause passed as the world rolled over them, "Tell me."

Expensive shoes creaked on the tile floor that smelled of hospital antiseptic. Fine silk trousers rustled softly as hands were jammed into pockets anxiously rattling a few nuts and bolts from his shop as if they were a talisman against what lay ahead.

A respirator sighed in the corner sounding like a cold winter wind through cemetery trees.

"I'll tell you… if you forgive me."

Steve Rogers looked up at Tony Stark from Bucky's bedside with angry, red rimmed eyes.

"I'll think about it."

Tony swallowed and rubbed his moustache with a hand like he was embarrassed to be there.

"I guess that will have to do."

* * *

Bucky looked out over the edge of the rooftop in the dark. An updraft caught his long hair and stroked it gently on his cheek. He was a creature of habit and had returned to Romania now that the Wakandan's had "fixed" whatever wickedness Hydra had implanted there. Steve had begged him not to go because both of them would be on the lam. To Bucky, the best place to hide is in plain sight and separately even if that killed him inside. Who would look for him in the place he just was? Who would think he'd leave his best friend behind, again.

A smirk crossed his face. Those were coming more often- smiles, smirks and even the occasional laugh, as he thought about where people might think he was hiding. Maybe in Asia, or everyone's bad guy favorite hideout, Brazil. He briefly imagined himself tanning in Rio on the beach with his silver arm flashing in the sun.

Then a cloud swept over his sun-drenched daydream.

" _I don't' know if I'm not worth all this, Steve." he had said_. He remembered breaking Steve's heart with his tone, but that was what their friendship was; honest to a fault.

" _What you did all those years, it wasn't you. You didn't have a choice."_

" _I know, but I did it."_

That still happened to him; the melancholy, the sudden flips in mood from sunny to dark and back again. T'Challa's people could mend a brain but they couldn't fix a broken soul.

The night was calm as traffic passed beneath him on the roadways around the apartment building. People were out walking together, music played and he heard dogs barking in alleyways. Everything was normal, except him.

Bucky knew he was the main reason Steve and Tony were at odds. After Siberia, it was painfully clear there was some bad air that needed blowing out. Barnes offered to turn himself in, Steve adamantly refused based on his POW status that he was no war criminal subject to the law.

" _Steve, if I turn myself in, I can get a trial. I can clear my name, move on… maybe let you have a life again." Barnes argued, his eyes sadly pleading._

" _Bucky, there is no such thing as a fair trial. I'm not sure there ever was." Rogers bit back, sparks in his eyes._

" _When did you become the cynical one?" Barnes returned, surprised at his friends' change of heart._

" _When I stopped being an Avenger." Cap said softly, his gaze falling to the floor, shoulders slumping with the reminder that he could never go back. "And you deserve a life as much as me."_

 _Barnes opened his mouth to argue back, but then shut it realizing it was futile. Once Stephen Grant Rogers made up his mind, there was no moving him. They didn't bring it up again._

The Wakandans generously helped Bucky with his mood swings and abysses of melancholy as Rogers slowly let his beard grow in, becoming someone that Bucky didn't quite recognize. Steve was still there, in spirit, but it hurt Barnes to see him closing the good parts of himself off. Captain America was becoming more like the Winter Soldier, freezing his feelings more solid day by day.

Bucky knew exactly how to stop the petrification. He had to get Rogers back with the Avengers.

" _Buck, don't leave. You're not well enough yet." Steve stated as Bucky placed his very few possessions in a new backpack. Somehow, T'Challa had seen to it that the notebooks were recovered but the backpack was a loss. The therapists helped Barnes use his notebooks to make him remember the good side of himself. He marked useful memories with small post it note flags and indexed them for specific situations: guilt, anger, sadness, loss. Those notebooks were his own personal bible, line and verse._

" _I'm just fine. I can't stay here forever, you know."_

" _Let's leave together then."_

" _That's a bad idea."_

" _Why?"_

" _Really, Steve?" he looked up from his packing to see the face that the whole world recognized._

" _But we have so much to catch up on."_

" _Not really. I was a murder-cicle for seventy years."_

" _Don't say it that way, Buck."_

" _It's the truth."_

 _Cap stood silently. He had no comeback for that._

 _Bucky felt his discomfort and had the urge to say something supportive and best-friendish. Looking up from his bag on his Army regulation- made bed, he pondered Rogers for a moment remembering their old days as boys. It made him smile a little._

" _What are you thinking?" Steve asked, trying not to look dejected._

" _What a runt you were."_

" _Yeah. What a pair we are." Cap agreed, a hint of a tear in one eye._

" _Look, punk." Bucky began, "Once you and Stark clear the air, we can come out of the shadows. There are a few good things I remember from my Hydra days and that is you don't stick together. Why do you think Natasha is solo all the time?"_

 _Steve recalled Peggy's funeral and Romanov's voice, "It doesn't matter how we stay together, just that we do." The Avengers_ always _stuck together._

 _Cap remained quiet, not trusting his voice._

" _Just do me a favor, don't send Chicken Little after me again. He's an annoying son of a gun." Barnes growled._

 _Rogers chuckled at that. Yes, Sam was a pain in the ass._

" _I'll be right where you found me." Bucky said cryptically. "See you later, punk."_

" _Jerk." In Rogers' eyes it was Stark Expo all over again like a bad_ Groundhog Day _._

 _Bucky hefted the backpack and slung it over his shoulder. He gave a little nod to his best friend and left. As the room door slid silently shut, Steve let the tears roll._

 _As Barnes walked down the hallway not trusting his legs to turn around and reverse course, a young Wakandan boy matched his pace._

" _Got it?"_

" _Yes!" the boy handed over a small device._

" _Are you sure it will pick up all Avenger signals?" Barnes asked critically._

 _The boy looked sarcastically at him, "This isn't the Bat Signal but it works. I built it myself!"_

" _What's a Bat Signal?" Bucky asked, confused, looking at the device._

" _Never mind." the boy eye rolled and shoved him towards his transport away from Wakanda._

That was the last time he saw Steve in the past few months. The device picked up all the Avengers chatter about how some guy named Nomad looked an awful lot like Steve Rogers but there was no confirmation that it was him. Occasionally he'd hear about some tiny thief, a bird-like drone, some vivid red lights and arrows that do strange things. He was waiting his turn to make things good between Steve and Stark. He just needed the right opportunity. It was a good thing that he was a patient man.


	2. Chapter 2

"I thought we snuffed all those bastards out already." Tony fumed from behind a holoscreen.

"Language." Widow uttered into the com link.

"Not funny, Romanov." Stark hissed as his eyes ripped across screen from screen. Apparently some local terrorist was taking a page from the old chapter from some Hydra manual and there still was modified Chitauri tech floating around in their possession. Several armies with conventional tech had been called up to suppress the power grab but had been unsuccessful. The first time, the United Nations activated the Accords.

"Well, the Secretary of the U.N. wants us there yesterday." Rhody pipped in.

"I know but I have… homework." Peter sighed.

"Ok, everybody. Hold the phone. Aunt May knows he's Spider Man and Peter has homework. That's getting old kid." Stark commented dryly.

"But I want to get into a good college!" Peter squeaked.

"Kid, you're an Avenger. I don't think job security will be an issue for you." Rhody replied.

"Tony, we should be going for those of you who are not independent flyers." Vision intoned somberly.

"Avengers assemble?" Widow inserted, words dripping in sarcasm.

"Romanov—" Tony barked.

"I signed those things. You can't expel me." she warned.

"Will you both stop jabbing at each other and just get on the damn plane?" Rhody rebuked through the mic.

"Yes daddy." Widow replied sweetly.

At the hanger, Peter and Romanov got into a new redesigned quinjet that could hold more people as it appeared the U.N. intended the Avengers to be more a humanitarian group than active combatant one. "Get in kid. Buckle up."

"Have you ever flown one of these things before?" Peter asked, his suit eyes narrowing cautiously.

"Get in the cockpit or I'll have you webbed in by your own … secretions." Romanov shot back with a glare.

Peter swallowed.

Rhody and Stark hovered in their suits that now bore a U.N. blue globe wreathed by olive branches on their shoulder with as Vision floated in serenely, cape waving gently behind.

The tinny voice of Stark crackled over the coms, "Ok, here's the plan." He held out a hand and small holomap of their objective city popped into view. "The terrorists are here –"a small red dot illuminated on a small hill that overlooked the city, "and our objective is to evac all the people from underneath this guy's fire power, which apparently includes some scary old crap that fool Vulture used to sell. Sorry kid." Stark looked at Peter who seemed guilty behind his own suit mask. "That's the only reason we were called in, to take that funky fire and be able to rescue civies."

"No active combat?" Rhody asked sounding disappointed, the servos of his helmet whirring.

"No. Do not engage. Understand?" Stark replied sternly.

"Yes sir." Widow eye-rolled and pushed a button to close the cockpit door. Engines flared to life and the flying members took off to their objective.

Peter had lost sight of New York after they went supersonic. He always hated leaving the city behind, feeling like something horrible would happen to it while he was away.

"You ok, kid?"

Peter pushed the fabric of his face mask up to his forehead making his brown hair stick out at weird angles to his face, "Yeah. You?"

"I'm ok."

"You didn't sound it just a while ago."

"Well, that's because…" Widow stopped.

"Trust me, I understand. I hardly knew the guy but I miss him too in some weird communal New York way."

Widow looked at Parker for a moment, assessing him. "I just wish Tony would get his head out of somewhere and into some therapy."

"He's still mad at Rogers?"

"Yes. And he refuses to do anything about it."

"Well, Cap isn't being very forthcoming either."

"No, but his risks are higher. He's an … _international criminal_." The words came out bitterly off her tongue.

"You think we'll see him tonight?"

"Maybe. There are reports of Nomad and his band of merry followers all around."

"I meant Bucky."

"Who knows." Natasha remembered the look in his eye as he tried to choke her dead last time they met. "If he's smart he won't show up."

* * *

Bucky heard the transmission from the United Nations summoning the Avengers and prepared himself for travel. This was the moment he was waiting for. He had some help from a few connections he still maintained in Romania and also some help from the exceedingly generous T'Challa. Barnes paused for a moment glad that he was no longer on T'Challa's bad side. That was not going to end well for either of them.

Luckily from his position, the target city was a shorter distance for him compared to the Avengers. He moved off to help prevent civilian deaths and to help get Steve back to his old self by getting himself captured by Stark. Steve would have to come talk to Tony then.

It was night when he arrived at the mid-sized city, the larger hill looming in the distance outside of town where blasts of blue light flared from old Chitauri tech like alien lightning. People ran and screamed away from Barnes as he assessed the situation. Other huddled down in doorways too frightened to move.

Immediately, Barnes dug into his polyglot history that Wakandans didn't erase and spoke quickly to several residents, guiding them away from the scene. Mortar rounds of conventional weapons shattered buildings and sprayed glass and rubble everywhere. Shrieks of people penetrated the darkness as Bucky pointed and urged people to leave.

Turning around with an angry glare, he realized he'd have to do something about those guns.

Scouting the terrain, he saw his path where gunmen were in the streets going door to door. It was the most direct way. _You never take the easy way, do you Barnes_ , he could hear Steve's voice chiding him.

 _Never,_ he thought back and dove straight into the fight.


	3. Chapter 3

Forgiven 3

The fight was almost laughable for him, he had to admit. These strongmen were nothing more than guys with an itchy trigger finger, no training and hardly any style. Bucky dodged some gunfire and bounced from doorway to doorway avoiding the spray of bullets that sent shrapnel flying, moving up the street towards the hill.

He heard a scream of children and froze in his tracks, eyes searching the darkness punctuated only by the blue Chitauri blasts.

"You! Stop now, or the kids die." A man's voice growled low from just beyond some smoke that floated through the street between buildings like the spirits of the dead.

As the grime lifted, Bucky saw a huge man with a hand gripping a girl's hair so tightly, she couldn't close her eyes. Tears streamed down her face painting trails into her dust-covered cheeks, fingers clutching at his sleeve trying to loosen his grip.

At their knees, a little boy kicked at the man, futilely pummeling his knees with tiny fists in impotent rage. Without even looking down, the gunman took a swipe at the child like a fly. The butt of his gun smashed the boy and he fell with a whimper.

Bucky twitched in response but then the girl shrieked as the barrel end of the gun was pressed fiercely to her temple. Eyes narrowed, Barnes replied, "Take me. Leave them."

"What a prize, no? I think all of you go. This girl… she is so… pretty." The man leered at the girl, his eyes evil. The child shuddered in his grasp. "You, carry the boy. We all go."

Barnes reluctantly approached, eyes never falling off the man who still had the pistol impressing itself on the girl's temple. A million scenarios were scrolling through is brain as he bent down to pick up the unconscious boy who had a purpling bruise on his forehead from the gun butt. Never breaking eye contact, he scooped up the child and saw a fleeting shadow gracefully flip over the tile rooftops.

The shadow was red and blue.

Barnes smiled a humorless smile, all teeth like an animal.

"What are you grinning about you moron?" the gunman barked shaking the girl, who cried out.

Barnes remained silent as a thin silvery thread shot out of the darkness and enveloped the man's head like a plastic bag. Instantly, he dropped his grip on the girl to claw at his smothered face, as Bucky shoved the boy into her arms. She fell to the ground holding the boy, shocked to be released as Barnes launched himself full weight at the gunman.

With several quick blows, and a satisfying snap, it was over.

Barnes looked back over his shoulder at the young teen and the boy. She peered up at him and nodded a thank you with gratitude in her eyes. Buck gave her a nod and continued up the street.

"Spidey… come out of your hidey hole." Barnes called as he jogged lightly up the road making progress up to the hill.

"I'm not hiding. I'm above you." Parker replied with a cheerful tone.

Bucky looked up and saw the arachnid superhero flitting from wall to wall like a sideways kangaroo.

"Thanks for that back there."

"Yeah. Looked like you needed a plan B."

"I'd agree with that."

"Cool."

"Stark here?" he rounded a corner and had to duck back as gunfire erupted shattering the wall he had just been next to.

"Somewhere. I guess." Parker replied flippantly and hopped down to stand next to the assassin.

Barnes looked him up and down and mentioned, "Have you gotten taller?"

Peter glanced at himself as if he could tell, "Uh, I don't think so. New suit… like it?"

"Better than that video thing you were wearing."

A blast interrupted their conversation. Briefly, they covered their heads as debris flew in random angles.

"You mean You Tube?" Peter's tone was chiding.

"Yeah, you wingnut. That." Bucky glared at him quickly, "Smartass."

"Language."

"Oh, not you too." Bucky replied before an RPG ripped the wall apart into sound and fury upon them.

Barnes felt crushing weight upon him and dirt filling his nose. With a gasping cough, he wiggled fingers and toes and found them responsive, if not trapped. Trying to orient himself in space, he felt something soft at his fingertips, like flesh. His mind immediately thought Parker.

"Peter?" Bucky wheezed, shifting his shoulders and feeling rubble move above him. "Parker!"

"Yeah." a raspy reply came.

"Thank God." Barnes tone was sincere.

"Aww, thanks."

"Don't let it go to your head. We still have to get out of here."

"Can you see it?"

"See what? It's pitch black."

"My web. It slowed the debris down so we didn't get torn to bits."

"How thoughtful of you."

"You're welcome."

"Don't get cocky kid."

"Isn't that from a movie?"

Barnes didn't reply but began to gather his arms towards himself, clearing his throat of dust that choked him. Pulling his feet up under him as best he could, he began to press upwards, shedding bricks and mortar as he moved. Parker did similarly. Slowly, they began to emerge from was used to be an apartment building.

"Wait." Barnes warned.

"For what?" Peter responded.

"Let me take a look before you crawl out of here completely."

"I have night vision in my visor. I should take a look."

"And I have more experience than you." Bucky glared an icily at the young man.

"I read up you were quite the mother hen, Mr. Barnes." Parker quipped. Barnes could hear the smile in his voice and shot him a frown.

Turning towards the source of the RPG, the street was deserted, Barnes figuring the assailants probably thought them both dead in the rubble.

 _Great time to be a ghost_ , Bucky mused briefly thinking of his fifty years as the ghost of Hydra. "C'mon. Coast is clear."

Parker stood up and began to dust himself off, "Stark is going to freak when he sees how dirty I've gotten this thing."

"I've seen worse. Let's move." Bucky began to pick his way over the rubble and up the street, his back always near a wall. Parker shot webs up and deftly swung above. "So, the hill has the weapon?"

"They won't let us engage it." Parker mentioned, a hint of annoyance coloring his voice.

"Who is 'they'" Bucky asked but felt confident he knew already.

"The U.N."

"You are just here to clean up? Evac? You know, the dead can't walk." Barnes was blunt.

Peter swallowed at the statement. It was true. Here they were super-powered beings able to neutralize that Chitauri weapon and all they were called for was to clean up the mess without solving the problem.

"You going to disarm it?" Spidey asked.

"Damn straight I am." Barnes replied still marching up the hill.

"Can I come?"

"But you're on official business. You'll get in trouble and sent to the Raft."

"Well, I can't think you just showed up here conveniently to mess around with a 'minor warlord'. You asked about Stark."

Barnes stopped in his tracks, taking a quick survey to make sure there were no hidden snipers or loose guns. Peter landed in front of him, the mechanized eyes of this suit narrowing slightly. Frowning, Bucky considered his options, the plates in his new Wakandan arm whirring softly. Peter ignored them.

"No, I'm not just here on a head bashing picnic."

"Didn't think so. What's your mission this time?" 

Barnes colored at his reference to his past but he swallowed it down, this was just a kid who had spent a lot of time with Tony. "I am here to set things right."

"Between you and Stark?"

"Between Steve and Tony."

"Steve?" Peter sounded surprised, his suit eyes widening.

"Yeah. I'm going to turn myself in. Make Stark see I am sorry and he and Steve need to get back on the same team." The words felt like hot shame in his mouth but it was the truth. The only way to get Steve back on track was to reunite the Avengers. That was his mission.

Parker folded his arms across his chest, then one hand raising up to hold his chin as if in thought pondering the Winter Soldier's words.

After a moment, he released his chin and looked Barnes in the eye, "I hope someday to have a best friend like you. Steve is a lucky."

"And here I was thinking all you young kids were just a bunch of cell phone addicts. Hope springs eternal." Bucky smiled slightly. "So don't follow me. I'm not on official business."

"No promises." Peter jumped up and shot off a rope of web swinging away towards the hill.

Bucky watched him go and thought, _that's what scares me Parker. Stay out of this kid._


	4. Chapter 4

Bucky continued as the sun angle shifted towards late afternoon. Apparently, the Avengers had been doing their jobs because he found fewer civilians as he moved closer to the hill. Peter was nowhere to be seen, or any other of the group.

It wasn't until he came upon a school situated on the main road that sat at the bottom of the hill did his stomach drop in dread. He glimpsed a few small faces, peeking over window sills, terrified. A full contingent of fighters were surrounding the campus as bolts of blue light rained down over the town. It did not appear the fighters were interested in the children directly but only reinforcing the position of their super weapon. For a second, he thought he saw the afterburners of Iron Man, or was it War Machine, just in the distance beyond the big guns. Bucky guessed, they were probably wondering how far to push the Accords with their U.N. orders.

Eyebrows furrowing, he thought of a plan.

* * *

A series of loud explosions rocked the area far to the left, the next street over. Clouds of smoke rose white over rooftops. Several guards looked up in surprise and then at each other. There was a group of deeper voices calling for reinforcements and that the Avengers were attacking. The gunmen looked at each other, confused. What appeared to be their leader gestured at approximately half the contingent to follow him, and the rest stay. That was all Bucky needed.

As the last man departed the others tightened up their formation around the school. The Winter Soldier used his best talent to dispatch them all, one by one with his sniper rifle. Parkouring down the side of building, he alighted on the ground, finger still on the trigger. Making sure there were no survivors, he quickly moved to the school before the other half discovered his ruse- an old trick from Black Widow- voice recorder and flash grenades.

The children cowered in the corner with their teacher, silently. "I won't hurt you." Bucky tried to assure them, hands up, gun slung behind him. "I'm with the Avengers." He lied but thought that would help when he saw a girl with a Spider Man logo on her shirt.

"Yeah. He is." The ever-cheerful voice of Parker chimed in behind. Bucky jumped nearly out of his skin, left fist balled to strike a deadly blow. "Whoa dude!" Parker exclaimed, prepared to block another punch.

Barnes got nose to nose, "Don't _EVER_ do that again. I could have killed you."

"But you didn't. Great work out there, Mr. Barnes." Peter replied optimistically, resting his hands on his hips.

"Call me Bucky." Barnes stated, "If you're out here risking your life with the rest of us, we can all be on a first name basis. What are you… 17?"

"Sixteen, actually."

"Jeezus."

"Mr. Spiderman?" the girl's voice interrupted. Parker squatted down to be eye to eye with her. Barnes remained standing, looking cautiously out the windows for the rest of the goon squad to return. She threw her arms around him and hugged him tight.

"Awww. This is cute. Look, Bucky." Peter held the girl like a puppy. Suddenly all the children were one giant glob of cute on top of Parker. "Whoa! Hey! I gotta breathe you know!"

Bucky smirked in spite of himself. This was the good in the world. The happy. He reminded himself this is why he has to carry on and not wallow in his chasm of self-despair.

A noise outside suddenly drew his attention. The goons were back looking at their dead comrades. Shouts from outside suddenly made the children stop giggling and hugging Parker. They now crouched in fear. Ducking quickly, Barnes got below the window line behind some upended desks. He addressed the teacher in her native language, "Stay down! Is there any other way out of this building?"

The pale, tear streaked face of the teacher nodded and whispered back, "Stairs to roof. But where do we go from there?"

Bucky cursed in Russian, closing his eyes to try to think about how to get these kids out of here. Inspiration came, but it was very risky.

"I have a plan."

Parker spoke up from under the pile of children, "Am I in this plan?"

"Yes."

"Awesome."

"Don't get too excited yet, kid." Barnes crawled over to Parker as it sounded like the gunmen were preoccupied finding the sharpshooter outside the school, not inside it. It would only take them a moment to figure it all out and start looking inside the school itself. "Parker, I need you do radio Stark. Tell him we have all these kids to get out of here and there is roof access."

As if to punctuate the precariousness of their situation, a series of Chitauri blasts exploded above them. The children cringed and whimpered. A child wiggled into Bucky's lap holding onto him. Without looking down, Barnes held the child just like he used to hold Steve when he was so deathly ill. Peter was touched by his unexpected tenderness.

"What about that gun?" Peter asked, his tone dark.

"That's my problem. You get the plane here to sweep up the kids, I'll disable that gun and anyone else up there."

"That's crazy! We haven't been able to-"

"But remember your orders were rescue and recover. Not engage." Barnes cut him off.

Spidey slumped a bit, "Yeah. I know."

"Ok, so we understand each other?" Bucky asked, "Get the kids and teacher out of here with the quinjet you all flew in here on. Trust me."

Peter looked at Barnes as solemnly as you could with a mask on and nodded in agreement.

Barnes switched languages, "Ok, children." The kids looked up at Bucky, a few wiping tears from their eyes, some braver ones sitting up and listening like good soldiers. "I need your help. You are all going to follow Spider Man to the roof. Take your teacher too. Be careful and stay low to the ground. An Avengers plane is going to rescue you from the roof. Do you know who Iron Man is?" Eyes lit up around the group, "Good. He and all his friends are going to help you too. Just remember, keep moving, stay low and no matter how scary it is, stick together. You are all very brave."

The children nodded silently, a few gap-toothed grins looked up at him. Barnes couldn't help but smile back. The teacher had crawled over to their position. "Miss, do you understand?"

She nodded looking a bit more resolved.

"Spider Man, give me a 10-minute lead time."

"Yes sir!"

Barnes rose to a crouch, handing the hugging child to the teacher, and did a low crawl to the door, entering the hall and towards the next classroom. The sound of battle was almost immediate with gun shots fired. Children cringed and a few whimpered. Then all was quiet.

Parker didn't want to know if Barnes lay dead just beyond the doors or not.

He radioed Stark instead, "Mr. Stark. Yeah, it's me Peter."

"What now? I'm thinking!"

"Umm, Mr. Stark, we have a classroom here of friendlies we need to evac from the school just below the gun."

"Children?!"

"Yes. And we have a plan."

"We?"

"Yeah…. Bucky Barnes is here."

There was radio silence. It was surprisingly heavy.

Peter swallowed wondering if his coms had broken when Black Widow's voice filled the void, "Stark snap out of it! We have children to protect. What's the game plan, kid?"

Peter told them the plan.

"What the hell is that man thinking?" Rhody inserted.

"He has a point. We cannot disobey orders." Vision observed in his detached way.

"I hate it when you all are right." Stark agreed, his voice a whisper as his demons strangled his voice.

"Then let's go." Widow finalized.

* * *

Bucky made it past the first very surprised goon he found inside the school. The guy got in one lucky hit with a bullet, but it was minor. Scurrying towards a classroom next door, he was able to pin point the morons running about in the street still looking for their mystery assassin. With his rifle, he minimized their numbers quickly before too much commotion could be made.

With the ground troops diminished, he set off to take out that gun on the hill; his original plan.

"Just like old times, Steve." he muttered thinking of all the small towns the Howling Commandos liberated during the war that were not part of their original missions. Reminiscing, he saw Steve's face glowing with pride as he finally won out over the bad guys, being the hero he always wanted to be. _You were always a hero to me,_ Steve, he thought as pressed on, silently through the trees behind the school and up the incline, _I'm the monster_.

Peeking from behind a large boulder on the mostly forested hill, he saw the contingent of men standing mostly at attention as a select few operated the gun. Observing, he noted that only the core group of five appeared to know how to work the weapon. Unslinging his rifle with a wince, he checked the magazine. He only had a few bullets left. Feeling his vest, he noted a couple of flash grenades and a few more lethal ones, and knives. Lots of knives.

 _Ok, Barnes, what now? Get that gun out of commission_ , he thought the melancholy stacking up in his mind with his odds of living through this, leaning his back against the rock. _Stark might like you dead too and let Steve back into the Avengers. But then you won't get to say you're sorry if you're a corpse_. _Would I get a burial in Arlington? Do they let war criminals in there? Steve would have to figure all that out and that would just be mean._

 _So live, Barnes. Live for Steve if nothing else._ That was all he needed. Taking careful aim, he sighted three gun operators. With a quick squeeze, three bodies lay on the ground and chaos ensued.

Pulling the pin on the flash grenades he lobbed them far behind the guarding soldiers. They exploded one after the next with white smoke and noise. Rushing forward, using the smoke as a cover, Bucky used his knives to their detriment. More men fell in silent crimson arcs. Darting behind a tree, the enemy caught on and bullets sprayed bark off the trunk he hid behind sending splinters into his face.

Bucky dropped to the ground, avoiding another round of hot lead aimed at him. He heard quinjet engines roaring in the distance and knew he only had a few moments to spare before it would be flying right in the path of that Chitauri gun to the school roof below. It was now or never.

Natasha looked out the wind screen circling at a safe distance from the weapon but she could see Barnes pinned down by gun fire just to the left of the Chitauri cannon. Her trigger finger itched to blow the goons up with the guns on her plane. Stark was apparently reading her mind. "Hold, Natasha. Our orders are clear."

"What if he doesn't make it? We just leave the kids here to be killed?" Romanov growled back, "Kinda paints us in a bad light making us look like fools doesn't it when they tie our hands like this, hmm?"

"I think he'll do it." Parker added, optimistically.

"I hope so, kid. For all of us." Tony concluded.

Natasha looked down again just as Barnes stood up, as if in slow motion, lobbing a grenade at the base of the cannon and throwing knives. Bullets struck him but he kept running forward to the edge of the cliff. Her eyes widened in horror.

"What the…. " Rhody commented incredulously.

"He's going to run off the cliff!" Peter noted, his voice small in shock.

"HANG ON!" Natasha grabbed the joystick of the quinjet and nose-dived towards the school as time seemed to resume normal. The grenade blew up the large gun, pieces ricocheting in all directions, the quinjet hovering above the school, shielding them from the debris raining down.

"Where's Barnes?" Tony asked, watching as all the children boarded from the roof and strapped in quickly. Vision kept watch outside with Rhody for stray gunmen.

"Look up!" Peter exclaimed as Barnes ran off the cliff edge. Fast as lightening, Parker shot a web trampoline to catch the assassin, who fell like he was already dead.

"Everyone on board!" Natasha yelled as the remaining gangsters on top of the hill began to open fire again on them. Stark quickly bundled Barnes up and carried him inside the cargo bay as the doors began to close.

"All on board."

Romanov hit the accelerator, only her heart beating faster in fear than the engines RPMs.

* * *

With the quinjet out of hostile territory and on autopilot, Tony took Barnes farther into the quinjet, away from the children. Stark could feel the eyes of the children on him, he knew what they were thinking – is he ok? Bucky's eyes were closed, blood splattering over his face and leaking out his nose. Tony suddenly didn't feel the overwhelming rage he had just a few months ago as the limp weight of the man he had hated with all his being lay draped across his arms.

"Over here!" Natasha cleared a first aide table that was being used for a card game with a sweep of her arm. Stark set him down on it and stepped back and out of his Mark suit. Widow leaned over Barnes, cutting and pulling away at the webbing surrounding Bucky. As she did, it became apparent how much he had sacrificed to take out that cannon that the U.N. wouldn't let the Avengers.

A low moan came from Barnes as his eyes fluttered open and he saw Natasha. "Привет, красавица. «

"Always a flirt, Sergeant Barnes." Natasha replied blinking back tears and pulling more web off him.

"Stark?" he whispered, bloody froth in the corners of his mouth.

"Right here, Barnes." Tony approached, hesitant.

With great effort, Bucky pivoted his head and looked Stark in the eye. "I'm sorry." he exhaled. "I'm so… sorry."

"We can talk about this later, Barnes." Tony said feeling suddenly uncomfortably warm.

"No. Now." Bucky swallowed hard, a cough brining up a stream of blood as he tried to breathe, "Steve."

"I don't know where he is." Tony replied, feeling suddenly horrible for watching Barnes suffer, which was so unlike all the fantasies he'd had of strangling Bucky himself for the deaths of his parents.

"Let him back." Bucky sighed finally, his eyes drooping to half, threatening to pass out. Natasha began to find the bullet holes and apply pressure.

"Back where?" Tony responded confused.

"Into the Avengers, you idiot." Widow finished for him, pressing her full weight on the chest of the Winter Soldier trying to stop him from bleeding to death.

"But I can't." Tony raised his hands in supplication.

"Please." Barnes murmured his face ghostly white, "I… told Steve… I'd ask you. And apologize."

As if summoned by their conversation, General Ross tapped into the coms, "Stark, report!"

"General Ross, I was just thinking about you." Tony replied sarcastically, turning away from the dying assassin. Vision phased into the room and began to help Natasha with Bucky.

"How nice. You evac everyone?"

"Yes. We are dropping off our last group now."

"Who took out the gun? My orders were you were not to engage."

"Would I _ever_ directly disobey an order from you, General Ross?"

There was silence on the other side.

Tony smiled on his end, "Of course not. I think some of the local ground forces infiltrated the area and got lucky. You know, we don't exactly communicate with them. Kinda hard to tell what they are up to. That might lead to issues down the road, you know."

"I have intel that suggests we might have one of Rogers' friends in the area."

"I have no idea who you mean." Stark sounded hurt, "Natasha, did you see anyone else on the ground besides the support troops we were sent in with?"

"No." she said tersely, looking terrified over the body of Barnes.

"Exactly. Mission accomplished. Sorry, gotta have a celebratory beer." And before Ross could get a word in, he disconnected and blocked the com.

"Let's get him to NYC stat." Stark said deadly calm.


	5. Chapter 5

When Ross had thinly concealed his glee after Tony and the other Avengers signed on the dotted line of the Accords, Stark made the decision to keep a few tricks up his sleeve in his Manhattan tower. He didn't appreciate Ross's eagerness to oversee all of his work and intrude into his business. It was, how did FRIDAY say it? Annoying.

" _Everything is going to be located in upstate, per our agreement, right Stark?" Ross stated more as an order than a question. He stirred his coffee with his eyes firmly on Iron Man sitting opposite him._

" _Well, that would make sense, right? I mean Pepper has a business to run out of there and I have some pet projects I like to work on my spare time. All that Avenger nonsense…. Just clutters everything up." Tony smiled benignly glancing down into his coffee as the surface swirled gently reflecting his face back up at him. He was confident that Ross's cup reflected a snake._

" _I couldn't agree more." Ross sipped his cup. "So, how is Ms. Potts these days."_

 _Tony's eye lid ticked slightly and his mouth went dry. Taking a sip quickly he let the coffee scald its way down his throat to make him not remember. "She's good. Doing great."_

" _Good. Now what are we going to do about Cap and his rogue friends?" Ross leaned an arm upon the table in his office._

" _That is an excellent question." Tony responded cradling the cup in his fingertips._

One of the mothballed halls he kept to himself out from under the jurisdiction of the U.N. and General Ross was the medical bay in the Avengers Tower. Tony didn't really have an inkling of what the Accords were going to do to his friends but to hedge his bets, he kept hidden his forbidden hospital. It was the best decision he had ever made.

"Pepper." Stark said on a secure channel glad that she and he had found some better common ground since the Accord signing.

"Now what? Did Peter ruin that suit?" she replied sounding like a mom fussing over a child's dirty pants at church.

"No. Worse. Please darling… activate the Welcome Home Protocol."

"Who?"

"Can't say just yet, dear."

"Ok. I'm on it." She disconnected and Tony was once again reminded by himself never to let her go.

He walked over to Vison and Romanov, who were exhausted from their first aid efforts. The quinjet floor has acquired a new shade of red it lacked before.

"Don't ask." Natasha looked haggard. Vision was classically stoic.

"I have help at home. We're almost there." Stark gazed at both of them, feeling as drained as they looked. Again, the absence of malice toward the dying assassin who took the life of his parents perplexed him. "I need to make a call." With a turn he left the macabre scene.

The flip phone was in the crumpled and stained envelope. He took it everywhere with him since the Accords like a good luck charm. Steve said he could call any time and there would be an answer. Tony twirled it between his fingers thinking about what he was going to say. 'Sorry Cap, your buddy is dead. He was killed during a U.N. mission they wouldn't let us participate in fully.' Or, 'Steve- Bucky is dead doing **our** job.'

 _Definitely the second one_ , he agreed with himself sarcastically.

Flipping the phone open, he pushed the green call button.

A few rings passed and Stark wondered if the phone had expired or Cap wasn't as reliable as he said he was. Finally, after an eternity, an answer, "Tony."

"Steve."

"Need some help? I saw you've been busy lately. Taking out rogue weapons." Steve's voice was light, surprisingly.

"Yeah. About that."

"What about that?" the tone darkened instantly.

"I … I really have no good way to say this."

"Spit it out, Tony. Did Ross get Bucky?" the words were sharp as glass. Tony's eyebrows raised in surprise at how terse Steve had become.

Stark paused swallowing and rubbing his temple with a hand, "No. But do you have a way to get to New York?"

"What happened?"

"Just get here as soon as you can. It's Barnes." Tony replied feeling nausea sweeping over him from his PTSD, "I'm not sure how much time he has."

All Tony heard was a click on the other end.


	6. Chapter 6

Steve was no fool. It was abundantly apparent that Fury's words were true- "High time you saw the world the way it is, and not the way you want it to be."

Pulling his ball cap down further, he made a roundabout way to a subway entrance near Stark Tower, away from the NYC street level surveillance cameras. The cool fetid air of the subway barely cooled his anger at the U.N., General Ross and even the displaced anger at Tony.

Scanning his ticket, he pushed the turnstile and proceeded to a platform. At the end of the platform there was a hologram of the dark tunnel beyond. In reality, it was a Stark Industries secret entrance to the tower. Steve looked at the biometric scanner and was marginally entertained that Tony hadn't erased his access as it scanned his retina.

Stepping through the sliding door into a clean button-free elevator, he spoke, "Hello Friday."

"Hello Captain Rogers."

"Not Captain."

"How do you want me to call you then?"

"Just Steve. Please take me to Bucky."

"Certainly. But be advised you will have to leave your weapons on the elevator." The doors closed and the car began to move upward.

"I'm not sure what you mean, Friday."

"Please, Steve. Do not take me for an idiot."

"You are most convincing." Steve pulled out a few small firearms and a knife or two. The missing weight on his left arm was almost a faint memory but suddenly it felt heavy again as if the shield was calling him from within _. You gave that up when Stark turned his back on you_ , he chided himself. _You are Nomad._

Friday said nothing more as Rogers gazed at himself in the polished steel, a serious, fully bearded man with piercing blue eyes full of anger gazed back, still standing at attention. _How far have you fallen, Steve_? Erskine's ghostly voice penetrated the silence.

The world has fallen, not me.

 _Are you sure of that? Where is the good man I once knew?_

I'm still here. It's different now.

 _I don't see the difference._

I do. And you are dead. The world has changed.

Peggy's voice came back, "Sometimes the best we can do is start over."

That's right Peg. I'm starting over.

Erskine had no reply in his imagination as the doors parted and he stepped out into the secret hospital wing that was not fully lit. "Which way Friday?" He didn't care if Stark was anywhere nearby.

"To your right."

Rogers jogged off towards that direction past curtains of plastic over equipment and beds.

Skidding to a stop at a doorway, he saw Bucky. His heart jumped into his throat. Approaching silently as if he would wake Barnes from his coma, Steve's knees were shaky.

"Buck." Reaching out a hand he touched Barnes's and was surprised how cool it was. "I'm here Bucky." His ears caught a tremor in his own voice. Clearing his throat, he added, "What have you done to yourself now?"

How often did he hear those words from Bucky as a kid? _"Rogers, do you always have to find the biggest kid to pound? What have you done do yourself now?"_ Bucky would say as he frowned in concentration, dabbing blood from some cut on Steve's face or scraped elbow and knee.

There was no answer from the Winter Soldier as he lay prone, intubated and the respirator quietly working to fill his damaged lungs. Steve felt his eyes filling with tears. Seeing a chair nearby through blurry eyes, he pulled it closer and sat down at the bedside, his back to the door. "I'm not leaving. Stark is going to give me some answers for this."

Steve was not sure how much time passed before he felt another presence in the room. It was not hard to guess who it was.

"How did it happen?" a heavy pause passed as the world rolled over them, "Tell me."

"I'll tell you… if you forgive me."

Steve Rogers looked up and over his shoulder at Tony Stark from Bucky's bedside with angry, red rimmed eyes.

"I'll think about it."

Tony swallowed and rubbed his moustache with a hand like he was embarrassed to be there.

"I guess that will have to do."

Rogers said nothing in reply. Tony found another chair on the other side of the room, pulling it up to the foot of the bed, "Mind if I sit?" Steve was still silent, watching. Tony made the decision that the beard made the Hero of America look decidedly more menacing. Rogers looked away from Stark, focusing again on Barnes and his pallor.

Tony told the whole story, including the parts Parker related to him. Steve listened, his expression barely changing through the whole exchange. After Stark finished, there was silence, except for the respirator.

Tony found the bolts in his pocket and pulled them out, tossing them randomly in his hands, fidgeting. His dad used to make him wait just like this when he was in trouble. The Silent Treatment Protocol, which Stark had yet to use, was written in his father's honor. It seemed that Rogers had his own version of it. He began to loathe the silence. Steve was a statue. Finally, Stark had enough and stood up, chair shoving back from his legs, scraping against the floor with a screech, "What the hell do you want from me, Rogers? I saved your friend's life… the man who took my parents from me… who tried to kill me a few months ago! And you have the nerve to sit there and ignore me?" Tony was afraid to state that Steve also had _looked_ like he was going to kill him.

Steve turned his head away from Barnes. Tony's face was flushed and his eyes verging on wild. Effortlessly, Cap turned to face Stark, still seated.

"Thank you for taking care of Bucky." There was a hint of the old Steve in his voice that quickly disappeared, "He was not going tokill you, Tony. He was _defending_ me, after you cheated using your computer to almost kill _both_ of us." He paused, his voice warming again in camaraderie, "But like I told you, I am very sorry for holding that information back from you."

Tony composed himself slightly hearing the answer but before he could rebut Steve stood up as he spoke like a long shadow from doorway, "Tony, I want you to forgive Bucky. You need to understand he did not choose to kill your parents. He is as much a victim in this as you."

"It's not that easy."

"Yes, it is. We can start here, right now."

Tony paused, looking just past Rogers, "I don't know."

"I said I was sorry for withholding that information. Do you forgive me?" Steve asked, his eyes softening slightly.

"I don't know. It hasn't been that long… since we talked." Tony shivered remembering Siberia.

Rogers inhaled a breath, part frustration, part fatigue. "Ok. Then let's start here. Are you going to arrest me and Bucky?"

"Of course not." Stark sounded insulted.

"That's a start." Steve glanced at Bucky his voice betraying his worry, "Will he be ok?"

Tony looked at Steve with a shred of confidence, "Yes. You can thank Natasha and Vision for that. But he can't go anywhere for a while."

A weight looked like it lifted from Steve's shoulders. "You could have left him to die, but you didn't. I think that means something, Tony."

"What? I'm not a douchebag?" Tony smirked sarcastically, "I do have _some_ principles, Rogers."

Steve gave a tiny smile that barely moved his beard, "I always knew that."

"And that is what causes our arguments. Yours are a lot larger than mine."

Steve folded his arms over his chest ready to press matters, "Are you ready to leave the Accords?"

"Not yet."

"Sounds like you didn't enjoy your recent deployment though. I'm sure Parker loved every second." Steve remarked, "But you're not someone's lap dog, Tony."

"But you still don't get it, do you?" Stark went on the offense, "There are more of them than us! It doesn't mean squat that we're powered- they can take us out if they really wanted to. At least this way, we have a hand on the wheel."

"You mean you are kissing asses and watching the evil of the world wreak havoc because a politician is too afraid to do something about it?" Steve quipped.

"No, we're saving our own necks until we figure out something better." Tony looked like a man on a mission.

"Any ideas?"

"Ever heard of a guy named Thanos?"

"Sounds like something alien." Steve's stance changed.

"Yep. We have some early intel. Someone or something is coming." Stark mentioned, then looked at Bucky, "I think the Accords will be moot at that point and we'll need your help…. And Bucky's."

"Sir, you are needed on a conference call." Friday interrupted.

Tony looked suddenly irritated, "Coming, mommy."

"Sir, I'm not your mother." Friday replied.

"Don't you forget it either." Stark snipped then looked at Steve, "Hey- you want me to send up a bed or something to eat?"

Rogers looked kindly at Tony, "Yeah. If you don't mind. He needs me right now."

Tony gave a nod as if he couldn't find words to fit the moment and then walked away.


	7. Chapter 7

The voices were both familiar and strange at the same time. A woman and a man were arguing. Was it his parents fighting over rent after dad had spent it on beer? That wouldn't be out of the question. Dad often went on binges when work at camp was too intense and the ghosts of the first World War tore away at his sanity. Where were his sisters? He'd have to keep them calm if things got worse.

"We can't stay here." The man said definitively.

"But where will you go?" the woman's voice was insistent.

"I dunno. But not here. Once he can move, we're going."

Was Steve sick? Again? That boy could never stay well ever, Bucky agreed. Was it a doctor speaking? Was Steve sick? If Rogers was, why was he laying on his back, sleeping?

Why did his throat hurt so much?

Why did everything else hurt so much?

What the hell did he and Steve get into again?

"SSSttteeee." Bucky hissed more than spoke.

Steve and Natasha looked mutually at Barnes, and then were instantly at his side.

"Hey, Buck. It's ok. Take it easy." Steve consoled, reaching out a hand to place on Barnes's shoulder.

"Easy, love." Widow added softly, stroking his hair with the back of her hand.

Barnes cracked his eyes open and the light threw spears. "What … the hell… did. I. drink?"

He heard Cap chuckle, "You drank some lead shots. Gotta lay off that stuff, pal."

Lead? What? It came roaring back in a lightning bolt- the Accords, Siberia, the whole fallout afterward. Spidey and him taking on that Chitauri mess left over from the Vulture's outfit. Saving those kids.

"Kids? Ok?" he rasped, opening his eyes with a heavy squint.

"Yeah. Everyone made it out ok. You on the other hand scared me." Natasha chastised, "Don't you ever do that kind of stunt again. I was barely able to keep you together."

"No. Promises." Bucky quoted Parker from earlier.

Romanov rolled her eyes, ruffling his hair. Bucky groaned in pain.

"Take it easy, Buck. You have been Swiss cheese for a few days now. Don't go hurting yourself again." Steve cautioned.

"Stark?"

"Yeah. About him. We still don't see eye to eye." Rogers commented, "But he saved your life. And I think he's a bit … better… than last time."

"You friends… again?" Bucky searched Cap's face for an affirmative beneath the dark beard of Nomad.

Rogers looked at Natasha, then back at Bucky, a cloud forming over his eyes, "I wouldn't say that exactly." Barnes looked crestfallen. "But…" Cap interjected, "We have a new level of respect."

"Not same." Barnes exhaled as his eyes drooped.

"No, Buck. It's not. Rest. You and I have some traveling to do once you're on the mend."

Natasha tucked Barnes in and dimmed the light over his bed once his eyes slid shut.

She took Steve by the elbow and guided him away. Once out of earshot she launched into him, "Rogers, you are the most stubborn fool I've ever seen."

Cap smirked, "I've been called worse."

"This is no joke."

"I am aware."

"Then don't treat it like one." She pressed a finger into the chest of Steve, eyes burning.

He leaned down slightly for emphasis, "I'm not."

"Could have fooled me." She stared him down.

Rogers leaned back, folding his arms across his chest his eyes hooded, "What do you want from me, Natasha? Stark tried to kill Bucky. TRIED. He can't see Buck is not responsible for what he did. He can't understand we are puppets on strings for politicians to play with. We are no better than Ultron!"

"Tony would never let that happen!" Widow protested.

"Or what? He rolls out the Iron Legion on the U.N.? I think that is grounds for being considered a war criminal. Off to the Raft." Steve was darkly serious, "Last time politicians waited to 'do something', Hitler happened. And the world looked on."

Natasha glared at him.

"Yes, we should stick together. I miss you guys terribly. I miss the Avengers. But at what cost? The world?"

"Damn you, Rogers." Romanov spat, "You and your sensibilities."

"They have gotten me this far."

"That's what I'm worried about. When they won't." She turned on her heel and left.

Cap stood, watching her go. Glancing over to Bucky, he was relieved that Barnes woke. A few more days and they could leave. He wasn't ready to come back yet. The world was not ready for both of them to come back.

Let this Thanos character show up. Steve knew in his heart, they would be ready for him or whatever it was. They always were.


End file.
